Being alone

I was looking through some of my old posts and saw one called “Alone”. Being alone was truly one of my greatest fears. I felt like I didn’t know how to be alone without feeling lonely. I felt like I always needed someone with me to do things, not like smaller tasks but like anything fun that I would want to do. But over the last two years, that changed.

I’m not sure exactly what drove me to where I am today, but I’m perfectly happy living alone and while it’s fun to share experiences with friends, I’m also content going places by myself instead of waiting.

I finally realized the difference between being alone and being lonely. It’s shocking how easy it is to feel lonely in a city of millions, but it truly is. And it’s really hard to get out of that mindset. I was lucky enough to find a community that lifts me up when I feel low or lost. I also had to not only be okay but actually enjoy my own company. The truth is if I can’t enjoy my own company, why should anyone else?

I’m not saying that I don’t miss my family or home sometimes or that I don’t wish sometimes that I kinda skipped over the next few years and could be with someone I love every day. But I’m good with being alone for now. I like being alone.

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