Feeling inadequate
I go to work every day and I feel inadequate. I come home and I feel the same.
It’s like the roles of my life that I’ve loved taking on in the past (human, daughter, sister, friend, employee, student), I’m not good enough for anymore or maybe I never was.
When you’ve spent your whole life being second place or almost good enough, it’s hard to imagine it any other way.
I’m trying. I remind myself every day: you are enough. These three words mean so much to me. The strength has to come from within me and I know that. I just wish sometimes others could see the struggle within me, but people are selfish, inherently.
I don’t judge them for it. It just sucks more sometimes is all. Maybe if I say less then it’ll be okay. If I don’t expect anything, then I can’t get hurt or disappointed. Right?